Alien autopsies in Cambridge??

Hi Guys

I know that my regular readers come here because they like little moments of whimsy in their lives, and I apologise to those of you who object to the gear change to seriousness here, but I saw something recently that really shocked me. And I think this needs to be shared and publicised so that this cruelty can stop.

Did you know that there is a secret base on the outskirts of Cambridge that could rival area 51 itself for secrecy and controversial activity?
Last night, drunkenly stumbling home from the pub I got lost and somehow ended up miles from my house and inside this compound. I have no idea how I managed it, but I guess it is not without precedent that alcohol can get you into these scrapes - as this guy will attest.

Anyway, what I saw in there totally sobered me up. Little orange creatures the like of which I have never seen before. I can only speculate on where they came from or how they ended up in this sorry place, all I know is that they have not met with human mercy. For it would appear - whether these are newly discovered species of earth or unfortunate aliens crash landed here by mistake - the military think they are worth learning more about.


Sheeple, wake up! - Alien autopsies are happening right here in Cambridge, right under your very noses.
AND I HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE TO PROVE IT

This poor creature had had his stomach cut open and most of his innards removed, for what ominous purpose I can only speculate.

There were jars and jars of body parts floating in jars of foul viscous liquid. Many of their heads had been removed, although - non scientist as I am - I can't help but think that this happened before they died. Strange.

PLEASE, HELP ME PUBLICISE THIS SO THIS CRUELTY CAN END!

All the Mikes and some hats

So, here it is. The maxi mini Mike hat.
 

To clarify:

Mike = Mike Actual
Mini mike = finger puppet mike
Maxi Mini mike = Massive finger puppet mike as hat for Mike Actual.

Mini mike came first, made last year, and I am not sure of the exact moment when I decided Mike actual needed an oversized hand hat - it feels like I have always wanted to make it, but whenever it came about - here it is.

Brim is a bit twisted here, but you get the idea. What amused me was that Mike was terribly upset that both he and mini mike had a beer (see the guinness in his hand) and maxi mini didn't. We decided if he got drunk he had the furthest to fall.

Now, I made this pretty quickly the night before the hat competition, and I winged it somewhat, so it is far from perfect, eyes too big, ears too small. But this is a Doctor Whoovesesque 11th. Next time I am going to do it properly with the right material etc and make a Tom Baker MLP hat.
Poppy's pro tip: don't wear a Dr Whooves hat in the company of numerous bronies.

Hourglass cutie mark.

And, you've seen it before, but as it won second prize (jointly with maxi mini mike) you'll jolly well see it again.

Portal tissues, minion and hamster keyrings and some whimsical frippery of the most fripperous order

A Portal companion cube tissue box cover.
For no tissue, toilet paper or general absorbancy-related product in my house shall be on show

I will hold my hands up to being a bit slap dash when it comes to sewing, edges meet up 'close enough' and the concerpt of seam allowance is alien to me. But to make sure I got this totally square and neat I measured everything and even used large numbers of pins. Little bit proud.

A cute little hamster. Just because

This little fella didn't work out right. I need to make the yellow part larger. I don't have much yellow fleece left (but plenty for this) so I was scrimping - talk about your false economies!

Sometimes, I just like to make fig leaves. Actually, this was a request, and there was sort-of logic behind it. I've spent a lot of time trying to work out which angle the fig should be at after someone said it should be stalk pointing upwards (no giggling at the back) but there appears to be no strong leaning towards that in art.

Dang I should dust my mirror.

 

On the under side.

Weeping Angel Toilet Roll Cosy

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: the Weeping Angel Toilet Roll Cosy.

The ploy is to literally scare the shit out of the toilet-goer. My bathroom light takes a few minutes to brighten up so any nighttime trips to the toilet are conducted in a semi-twilight lighting with long shadows. With this li'l lady guarding my cistern, I may have to invest in a bedpan.

BTW, I was too excited to finally finish this to get a good picture, so I may have to repost with better pics!

Apron, piggies, poo and a hat

I am usually the secretest of all secret Santas, but I suspect the recipient may have had something of an inkling it was me (I told her). So this braai themed apron will surprise no one. Also, I can now pronounce Boerewors.

Little silliness. I've been playing with felting. So there is a little Cobweb sniffing Winks, a scottish boy piggy we've never met.

I have had sooo much fun making this felt, fleece and pompom bristol stool chart. Numbers 1 and 2 are stuffed really tight so they are really firm whereas 5 is all soft and fluffy edged. Number 3 is my favorite.

 Happy wampa hat for a baby.

Mal doll

If I ever win the lottery and quit my job, I promise to make a life size one. In the meantime, I threw this together quickly (thus the visible stitches) for fun.

NSFW* (there's botties)

*OK - totally safe for work I just wanted to make myself seem edgier.

And because bumflaps make everything better and Nathan's perfect bottom should be on show more, with the bumflap hatch framing it like a beautiful work of art.... sorry. Got distracted there.

There is a reason for the elephant. If you don't know, best not to ask. Let's just say he is the mead waiter.

A birthday cake for the guinea pigs

These are on facebook as well, but hey, I think more websites should have a picture of a guinea pig in a hat on them.

In the category of "things I make" this fits in only the loosest sense of the word, but look - a genuine Poppy-crafted hat. As modelled by Blossom.

I probably could have secured them with elastic under the chin, but as this was a birthday party for them, I thought doing something for my amusement would be a bit unfair. 

Here is their birthday cake. Blended broccoli and red pepper, alternated with a layer of blended cucumber and celery, wrapped in a carrot 'icing' and topped with coriander sprinkles. Cucumber candle with a sweet potato flame.

 

Happy piggies.

Luring Mustard...

The Veebeam Chair

I really can't decide whether it is better for me to explain what the hell this is and why it exists, or whether I should just put the pictures out there and leave you guessing.

Ok, this is a birthday present for a very dear friend. It is loosely based on the Veebeam doodad (pictures here) which apparently within hours of release was being dubbed the lady saddle because of its shape. Said friend has something of a Benny Hill sense of humour in some matters, so he was delighted by the veebeam. So the idea of the present came from that. Making it into a seat was an attempt to make it more useful than a random plush rhomboid, and, well, it vibrated simply because I thought it would amuse him.

 

A side view, with the veebeam logo. You may be wondering how I made this into a chair. Well, the saddle itself is actually made around the skeleton base of an old bike saddle (bartered from Rocco's bikes in exchange for a cake in an egg), which is attached to a pole, which is attached to a sink plunger. The plunger does a very good job of keeping it steady on the floor, but sadly is not strong enough to keep the weight of the saddle upright when you aren't sitting on it. Maybe I should pop round Sally Ann's and see  if I can get an old desk chair with wheels.

 

This is a side view looking foward. The square lumpy bit at the front is the detachable usb sitck that the Veebeam comes with.

 Here's the USB sockety thingy on the back.

Being sat upon. My belly doesn't really go out as far as it looks like in this picture.See the USB stick poking out of the front? That, my friends, is detachable and contains the string for the motor which is safely esconced in the saddle itself.

But wait! There's more!

This is the front of the Veebeam, with the USB stick removed. No comments.

And finally, a short video to show you it being used, complete with seat wiggle and vibro action. But I seriously suggest you don't watch it because it makes the thing look a whole lot more filthier than even I had ever intended.

Day Twenty four - Baked Nebraska

Benjamin Disraeli described a Baked Nebraska as a rump steak, stuffed with ice cream and covered by freshly whipped cream. By necessity, the meat is served extremely rare – which likely contributed to Disraeli’s subsequent hospitalization and rapid demise. 

Challenge accepted.

So today I have deconstructed the baked nebraska (and will hopefully not die as a result). The components are:

- Beef from Scotland

- Whipped peppered garlic cream (with blended roasted garlic and lots of green, black and pink peppercorns stirred through).

- Ice cream in a mustard tuile in the middle of the plate (made very slightly sweet with whole grain mustard, chili, garlic and parsley, so basically a sort of chimichurri ice cream. It is hard to see in the picture, but I made a little mustard and parmesan tuile to put the ice cream in.)

- Rhubarb, poached in port, muscavado and bay leaf. Although this is not mentioned in the original recipe, I decided to use it on an impulse, and I am glad I did.

And I have to say - I was a fan of the ice cream and beef together. That was surprisingly nice. Highlights were the popping of the semi frozen wholegrain as you bit into them, and the sudden realisation in each mouthful of the heat coming through the cold chilis merging with the beef.

The cream was odd. Perhaps I should have made it more like a creamy pepper sauce, rather than a flavoured whipped cream dollop.

Poppy Trivia: If I have told you recently that I was too busy to do [x], I was likely churning my own home made chimichurri ice cream at the time. No ice cream machine for me, so this was a weekend of whipping the heck out of my ice cream custard every half hour.

Day Twentyone - cuddly Salad Fingers

If you don't know who this little fellow is, thank your lucky stars. This is Salad Fingers and he is the creepiest post-apocalyptic cartoon character on the internet. He likes rusty spoons.

Trivia: this project originally started as Star Wars finger puppets, before I realised they have been done to death. I do have a Leia finger tho.